Abode of Love: Nizamuddin Auliya-Khusro, Peace and Perspective

Weary, stressed and troubled I entered the door of the Dargah (shrine), the crowd did not bother me; I was oblivious to the commotion, with some flowers in hand, all I wanted to get through the long queue and sit at the door of Khusro. Nizammudin Auliya Dargah is one place where there is always peace no matter if the entire world gets gathered around.  I call it the abode of love for the simple reason that no other place glorifies such an unconventional facet of love of a man for a man, there is no other place where love is simply love and nothing more. It is free – free from the need to possess, free from the bounds of relationships and free from any expectation that love generates.  I always go there to get myself some solace, when the self becomes too much on me, when all am I doing is drowning in distress and when every other person seems like your adversary.

 I sat down at Khusro’s grave, I cried, as dramatic as it may sound but I did. I couldn’t help it.  I looked around so were others, like beggars everyone there was seeking something and so was I. There were many people around, everyone making a wish, and everyone there had come to ask for something. They believe that the mystic will be able to solve all problems of their lives and grant whatever they desire. I was also there with all the issues of my life but I didn't think that the Nizam could have solved them for me; I am only there for a perspective, which I already know but keep forgetting.

Free me, I asked the Nizam, free me like you were. I can’t be you but give me peace I look for. Let me love like Khusro for who nothing mattered but the fact that he was in love. The weariness, the lust, envy, possession, anger, frustration, if it all I can be replaced by the awareness of one truth. To empty oneself and still be full of nothing but love – unreasonable and unconditional.

I still kept sitting there; it was hard to convince myself that I can actually free myself from me. I am not Khusro nor can I be, my mind is full of illusions and the superficiality of the world is where I am seeking happiness. Clichéd as it sounds, the reality is this.  The moments of peace at the shrine and the perspective you gain are all lost the moment you step out. Then everything is like it is – a marketplace.

I keep trying that I do not lose it. I am trying. When I walked out of there, all I wished to be in love and not be weary. I am trying, yes I am but I know I will be back soon at the Nizam's door.