Dedicated to Thomas
and his thoughts
No wonder the book is a
masterpiece and I have no competencies or enough knowledge to analyze this
classic, but still I want to write something to express how it feels to read
what is exactly going in my mind. The book often seems like a mirror of
thoughts, some words resound what is going exactly I have been feeling. How I
see the world in these modern times and how my ideals actually want them to be.
This conflict never ends and the life, then never seems easy. To live in this
world and despise it too is a hard choice, and then like Steppenwolf we develop
the infinite souls within us, one for every occasion. For people at work, for people on the street,
for family, for friends and one for our own, the one for our own is the most
honest to us.. This one knows the dark secrets, the dark thoughts and the honest feelings; it is the best company we can provide ourselves with. However at a point I found it scary when Haller condemns his solitude and his loneliness which has reached the point of no return, so much so that he cannot find comfort in the most beautiful of the company or with someone who understands him well, even if he wants too. The reason again I felt was his own thoughts which cannot completely resonate with anyone he met or the fear of things ending in misfortune, which would again lead him to further despair and one step close to the razor.
To mark one of my favorite lines
from the book: “ For all things, what I hated, abhorred and cursed most
intensely was just this contentment, this well being, the well-groomed optimism
of the bourgeois, this lush, fertile breeding ground of all that is mediocre,
normal, average.” Thomas said this is not as sharp and striking as it was in
German but I still feel it hits the cord, and pretty well. For me the book has
summarized its essence in these lines, the despair of Haller, the
discontentment with the world around him and most of all why is that he cannot
find contentment. He comes across as someone who does not hate the world but
also cannot come to terms with the pretentiousness, the banality that had crept
in among people and their lives. I try
to imagine what ‘his look’ must have been that the editor defines he gives
during the lecture on seeing the pompous and flattering philosopher, which
seemed to say and I quote, “Don’t you see what apes we are? That’s what human
beings are like, just take a look! And all celebrity, all cleverness, all
intellectual achievements, all humanity’s attempt to create something sublime ,
great and enduring were reduced to fairground farce.” Splendid! That look I
think I know, I know from my own face, for the obscenity that life often shows
on various occasions.
The author Hermann Hesse noted that the book
has been highly misunderstood (it isn’t really about sex, getting high on drugs
and giving a damn about the world) and is not about negativity but for life and
hope, and as the ‘immortal’ Mozart says to Haller in the Magic theater that why
do you take life so seriously! So seriously that it makes one incapable of
doing anything but just laments every single action around us. So much so that nothing can give you peace or nothing an please you ever to be happy unless it is a Utopia you have imagined.
After reading the book something
that remained in my mind was the description of Haller’s room by the editor of
his notes, when he described his room with all the books there was also a
picture of Gandhi. Steppenwolf and Gandhi? Gandhi in Steppenwolf’s room and yet
he is Steppenwolf, yet he is despaired. Probably Haller and Gandhi were not
different in their ideals but yes Steppenwolf was. Or maybe that picture was
there for Haller and not for Steppenwolf. Gandhi could have been despaired too
but he wasn’t and stood up against every odd to claim his ideals and rights of
the people. But the irony was that by the end of his life he was probably what
Steppenwolf felt throughout. The one who lived and fought for his ideals was
also in the end just had to take a bullet in his chest from some hardcore
nationalist for whom peace meant nothing. Later only to be misunderstood that
he caused the entire problem in the country post independence, he was weak,
coward, appeasing, passive and various other adjectives that added to his name.
I wondered while reading why he had to take so much pain to rectify what was
wrong only to be despised later, or what would have been better that he would
have been like Steppenwolf. Again the world failed his idea that world could be
as perfect as it is always dreamt of, it is often happy in its mediocrity. Nevertheless
I cannot imagine the hopelessness that there would have been if there wasn’t
Gandhi and his thoughts and his courage and the will to stand firm on his
ideals no matter what comes and goes. Like Hesse says Steppenwolf is a story of
hope, I would still like to believe that there is still hope amidst all the hatred.
Hoping something can still make things better, or at least not be the part of the
flock preparing to doom the world.
