The unacceptable reasons I have been told to get married.

To be single in this part of the world is a struggle well probably everywhere else, people around you always need to know why and how you are not like them. This is my ongoing rant for several years that how I am totally against the this institutionalized concept of marriage in India, especially the entire process of hunting for a partner and the fanfare that follows.
I am always given these weird and unreasonable reasons to get married which are about everything apart from love, companionship and a real will to share your life (and space) with someone. I have selected my favourite ones below because I find them so stupid that they are hilarious.

• If not now then when, it is going to be hard after you are 30. No one will want to marry you then! 

          

       You mean you can see the future and what age has to do with it? Just get out of the 19th century

• It is good to have someone around you to take care of you and provide you security 

         

            Also tell me it is a barter,  it comes with a lifetime service clause of cooking, cleaning and kids

• After you are married you can do anything you want. No one will question you. 

       

              I can do what I want anyways! Bugger off! 

• You cannot keep partying and traveling all your life, you will get bored of it. 

       

          Of course I can. Aww don't feel bad that while I party and travel you have to clean your kid's               poo.

• Life is not just about having fun, you have to settle down and get serious in life. 

         

                Look how serious I am, now please don't make me cry! 

• Being independent and free is fine but tell me what will you do after 40 when you get lonely. 

         

         Let us put it this way, how jealous are you of my freedom? 

• Don't you want to dress up like a bride, have this one memorable day in your life. 

       

         No! 

• You are educated, have a job now what is left in life to do, get married! 

       

        Is that how you are REALLY trying to convince me. NO! I would rather win the Nobel Peace               Prize first. 

If you have ever been told all these things before don't bother! Don't care, do what you are doing and do it well. Drink, party and have fun. Marriage is a part of life not your entire damn life. 

Single and the City – Pune Diary 1

I have never lived alone in India whether I went traveling or for work, there had always been an uncle or an aunt or even a friend with who I could live. When I  recently moved to Pune for my new job, I decided no more relatives and no more flat sharing. I was convinced that I am old enough to live by myself and if I could do it in a foreign land then how hard it would in my country. Somehow I was oversimplifying the situation, I had no clue I was in for some great troubles and nightmares included.

It started with the house hunt, where I just landed in a vicious circle of brokers who claimed every shitty house to be the house of my dreams. Not to blame them completely, they couldn't have done much as all good houses were reserved only for families! Yes, you heard it right, I found out that many housing campuses do not allow owners to rent their flats to students, single working man/woman, foreigners and oh to the Muslims. You call any broker and before asking your name he would ask if you are  single or have a family and if you are a Muslim. As appalling as the questions were I realized there was no way out of this, you would simply have to compromise on your expectation to be able to live in a decent house. So, finally I found one place which was overpriced and apart from other amenities it came with an old, nagging and an interfering landlord.

His no smoking, drinking and no ‘friends’ in the night clauses were not enough so he also voluntarily kept a tab on my every single activity including when I go out and come back. Not even a month I realized that a single woman living alone is an everyday struggle. You are simply a person who just cannot be trusted and it is ten times harder if you are woman, as they attach hundred other caveats with you. If you are single, then you might have a boyfriend who might visit you and then you can be a bad influence on the families living around. So you become a potential slut who just might turn the flat into a brothel. You could also be a party animal who might just disturb their midnight sleep.  

I was in utter disbelief that people still thought so! They still have such prejudices towards those who are not similar to them or have different lifestyle and preferences. Profiling people from certain communities and apparent racism towards people from other countries is an accepted norm especially if you are look for a house. I felt totally unwelcome in my own country and being constantly judged for who I am. I find it unacceptable to make peace with the fact that it is how it is but sadly I cannot do much to change it. This is something which scares me that you are helpless in such situations and even when you are not wrong. I am simply filled with resentment and still wondering if I can feel differently ever.

And of-course my landlord had decided to throw me out because I am not fit to live in his house given my activities are suspicious as a single woman. After an argument turned ugly, my landlord also decided my fate by telling my mom that I will have problems in my married life if I continue to behave in such manner.

All I want to do now is slap  his face and say “dude I don’t even want to get married! If your moral lectures are finished then can I have my money back?” 

5 Things Expats are Tired of Hearing in India

You packed your bags you came to this glorious country and you even like it. But the locals are trying to prove how they are better than you? Are they trapping you into believing India is the greatest? Tell me if you have heard at least one of these from people around you.  

• India will be the next super power and dominate China & U.S. 

Yeah sure in my lifetime? No? Then don’t tell me about it

• One of the richest man in the world is an Indian 

That certainly explains the poverty 

• It is important to get married, see unlike in the west we really value this institution

Kill me now … kill me

• You might have all the material things but we have family values and morals

you got me there! But please build toilets they are important

• People care here for each other a lot; you know it can get lonely in the west

You mean they just poke their nose in every single matter of your life…like a fuckin’ satellite 

I know India is a diverse country with colors and culture, but  stop throwing it on the face of the foreigners who are visiting you. You are proud  but you need to stop doing that! It is not your obligation to feel good by comparing your country with that of others. So stop like right now ... now!!!