Single and the City – Pune Diary 1

I have never lived alone in India whether I went traveling or for work, there had always been an uncle or an aunt or even a friend with who I could live. When I  recently moved to Pune for my new job, I decided no more relatives and no more flat sharing. I was convinced that I am old enough to live by myself and if I could do it in a foreign land then how hard it would in my country. Somehow I was oversimplifying the situation, I had no clue I was in for some great troubles and nightmares included.

It started with the house hunt, where I just landed in a vicious circle of brokers who claimed every shitty house to be the house of my dreams. Not to blame them completely, they couldn't have done much as all good houses were reserved only for families! Yes, you heard it right, I found out that many housing campuses do not allow owners to rent their flats to students, single working man/woman, foreigners and oh to the Muslims. You call any broker and before asking your name he would ask if you are  single or have a family and if you are a Muslim. As appalling as the questions were I realized there was no way out of this, you would simply have to compromise on your expectation to be able to live in a decent house. So, finally I found one place which was overpriced and apart from other amenities it came with an old, nagging and an interfering landlord.

His no smoking, drinking and no ‘friends’ in the night clauses were not enough so he also voluntarily kept a tab on my every single activity including when I go out and come back. Not even a month I realized that a single woman living alone is an everyday struggle. You are simply a person who just cannot be trusted and it is ten times harder if you are woman, as they attach hundred other caveats with you. If you are single, then you might have a boyfriend who might visit you and then you can be a bad influence on the families living around. So you become a potential slut who just might turn the flat into a brothel. You could also be a party animal who might just disturb their midnight sleep.  

I was in utter disbelief that people still thought so! They still have such prejudices towards those who are not similar to them or have different lifestyle and preferences. Profiling people from certain communities and apparent racism towards people from other countries is an accepted norm especially if you are look for a house. I felt totally unwelcome in my own country and being constantly judged for who I am. I find it unacceptable to make peace with the fact that it is how it is but sadly I cannot do much to change it. This is something which scares me that you are helpless in such situations and even when you are not wrong. I am simply filled with resentment and still wondering if I can feel differently ever.

And of-course my landlord had decided to throw me out because I am not fit to live in his house given my activities are suspicious as a single woman. After an argument turned ugly, my landlord also decided my fate by telling my mom that I will have problems in my married life if I continue to behave in such manner.

All I want to do now is slap  his face and say “dude I don’t even want to get married! If your moral lectures are finished then can I have my money back?”